2008

this year wasnt bad at all (:
it was actually one of the best years in my life.
i know i lost so many friends but thank god i find others.. im not trying to say i replaced my
old friends, cause being with out them still hurts.
in the other hand this year i found someone who complements my happiness, my first best
friend :D he is awesome and i DON'T want to ever lose him.
i also found a true "female" friend who i cant call my best friend cuz i know she is not.
but i really love her and she brings a little warm in my life.
i also meat new girls so i can say i have friends "female" friends.
and i cant forget one of the most important things (: and it's called MIKE the love of my life.
the one who is my reason for smile, he is always there. forever.
me and my classmates became so close it was amazing we were all friends. and we will always
be.
my school year was pretty good.
all the issues and problems with the teachers ended! and things couldn't get better.
finally the true ME came back.
as a matter a fact my behavior start to change in order to be the real me, the one who most
ppl loved.
my grades where awesome and i was being a geek again ;)
my family.. well things CAN be better but, i guess i have what i need and i love what i have.

so at the end of this year i can be proud of my self and who i become.
now its up to me, to make this 2009 work and make it my own. be me and love ME.
i have my face looking up in to the sky waiting the sun to shine. im not going to look back
or look down cuz there's nothing there for me (: .

what happend when you find it!?

lately i have being thinking..
and i figure out we (as humans) spend our lifes serching for LOVE, true love.
i mean the person who you are going to spend yer life with, have kids and all that stuff.
but what happend when you find him/she, before you were suposed to.
im writting this because i think i already find him, and that makes me happy, but now i have
what i was "suposed" to find years later.
i can say HE is the one and that scares me to death..
im happy when he is around and i want to spedn my whole LIFE with him.. but im 16 years old
and im sure is not going to happend :(
now that i found him, what im going to do!.
maybe i'll find someone but is not going to be the ONE.
love and life are so effin related. yeah.
i guess i just have to let the time flow and HOPE that our love doesnt die yet.. and never
so we can stay together forever..

falling again.. <3

after a big confution thing get clearly, i tought this was going to be so hard..
but at the end it just make me realize how much i love him and how much i care about him!
chisuss! cause im in love and nothing else matters! (:

I'm happy when he's around. I had felt upset and acted hostile against him as he had been playing that one living thing that wakes the demons inside of me. But seeing the dawn made me think about the little warm he brings to my life.

Ignoring the fact that we had a little fight a few hours before I just realized how good he's to me.
I'm not sure of how long it will take for him to notice that I'm not the best of a company but I hope that moment won't come any soon.

and after the whole time i spend doing fucked things and being such a stupid.. i can proudly
say now IM FALLING AGAIN FOR YOU.

merry christmas world! ...

today is december 15th .. so christmas is comingo soon.
since im 14 years old i dont like this date (christmas) because it reminds me of how
life use to be 2 or 3 years ago.
is not that im not happy with my life and what is on it, but there are few things that use to
be better.

society has teach us that christmas is a warm and happy date, wich we spend with the family
and celebrate the day jesus was born
.. blah blah.
3 yeas ago christmas was so important for me! not only because gifts and great food. it was
because my whole family get togheter.. all of them, and we have lots of fun and a wonderful time.

but in those next 3 years things in my family start to change or maybe i just grow up.
i found out my family wasnt as happy as i thought (im not talking of the main family mom, dad and brother. im talking about the rest of them. aunt, uncle, cousins etc).
first of all my favorite uncle wasnt in guatemala anymore, so i start wondering why.. as a curious
girl i start asking questions and put things togheter.. finding out he was gay.

then my other uncle enden his relationship with my aunt.. because some trust "isues" and
cheting stuff.. so my aunt didnt spend christmas or any other hollyday with us, as a matter of
fact either my cousins.

the other fact wich is a litter bit longer and way harder to explain.
because of the problem below, my only guatemalan and female cousin never came to my
grandmas house, again.
so being the only girl was very hard, not only for all the masculine games i had to play and all the
confuisons in my own sex.
but what make it harder is the way my family start to act with my.
*i have to explain this cuz is very complicated, my family has this way of think, wich is that..
women has to serve the man and be kind of the maid*.
so they make me do the dishes and cooked for my brother and cousins.
at the begining that doesnt boder me at all.. but then things start to get worst and i was
needing some family love.

so when christmas is near i cant hide the anger. and i become so bitter and i hate it.
but this time i will try to ignore all this "things" and move on and try to have a merry christmas..

seguir.

Emoticón actual: confundido/a
Categoría: Life

waa, ese waa es xq mis sentimientos en estos momentos son inexplicables..
es tavez xq toda la vida le he tenido miedo a los cambios, especialmente ahorita, xq es hora de dejar lo conocido i empezar las cosas desde cero.
nuevas personas, nuevas experencias nuevo todo.
talvez mi temor sea por mi falta de madurez o porque simplemente no kiero dejar lo q ia tngo.
se que estos cambios traeran cosas buenas i malas, pero espero sean mas buenas.
me aterra perder en especial a una persona, esa persona a la cual ia me acostumbre, saber q hai posibilidades de que se aleje o se de cuenta q no soi lo mejor para el..
mi vida a dado giros inesperados,complicados.


de alguna manera deseo salir de ese ambiente en el que he vivido los ultimos anios, dejar atras toda la falsedad que me a rodeado.
pero siendo una persona como soi se que sera mui dificil adaptarme i que las personas se adapten a mi.

tngo la esperanza de que este cambio traiga a mi lo que llevo anios buscando..
pero a la vez se que me traera cosas con las q nunk quise toparme.

solo deseo q todo salga biien..
i q esos temores se vaian junto cn la mala suerte cn la que me a tocado vivir..