merry christmas world! ...

today is december 15th .. so christmas is comingo soon.
since im 14 years old i dont like this date (christmas) because it reminds me of how
life use to be 2 or 3 years ago.
is not that im not happy with my life and what is on it, but there are few things that use to
be better.

society has teach us that christmas is a warm and happy date, wich we spend with the family
and celebrate the day jesus was born
.. blah blah.
3 yeas ago christmas was so important for me! not only because gifts and great food. it was
because my whole family get togheter.. all of them, and we have lots of fun and a wonderful time.

but in those next 3 years things in my family start to change or maybe i just grow up.
i found out my family wasnt as happy as i thought (im not talking of the main family mom, dad and brother. im talking about the rest of them. aunt, uncle, cousins etc).
first of all my favorite uncle wasnt in guatemala anymore, so i start wondering why.. as a curious
girl i start asking questions and put things togheter.. finding out he was gay.

then my other uncle enden his relationship with my aunt.. because some trust "isues" and
cheting stuff.. so my aunt didnt spend christmas or any other hollyday with us, as a matter of
fact either my cousins.

the other fact wich is a litter bit longer and way harder to explain.
because of the problem below, my only guatemalan and female cousin never came to my
grandmas house, again.
so being the only girl was very hard, not only for all the masculine games i had to play and all the
confuisons in my own sex.
but what make it harder is the way my family start to act with my.
*i have to explain this cuz is very complicated, my family has this way of think, wich is that..
women has to serve the man and be kind of the maid*.
so they make me do the dishes and cooked for my brother and cousins.
at the begining that doesnt boder me at all.. but then things start to get worst and i was
needing some family love.

so when christmas is near i cant hide the anger. and i become so bitter and i hate it.
but this time i will try to ignore all this "things" and move on and try to have a merry christmas..